View source for The Orphan and Bus Problem

A busload of nuns is hurtling towards a cliff. You can save them, but the absolute only way is by killing a single, terribly cute young orphan. How would the followers of various gods approach this issue?

:<b>Aelin</b>
::<b>[[Aeolis]]</b> followers would try to win the hearts of all of the nuns on the bus with their heroism before it crashed, and write poetry about their beauty afterward.
::<b>[[Alil]]</b> followers would get on the bus and try to get laid by all of the nuns as the bus careens off the cliff unhindered.
::<b>[[Serachel]]</b> followers would let the bus go over the edge, distract the orphan and push them over as well, and then paint a masterpiece depicting the victims' horror.
:<b>Alatharya</b>
::<b>[[Enirra]]</b> followers would ask the scale of Orlin what alignment the nuns and orphan were, and then gang up on the weaker one.
:<b>Caladaran</b>
::<b>[[Alajial]]</b> followers would preach to the bus about living in peace, then use the deaths of the nuns as an object lesson in why violence is never the answer.
::<b>[[Chadraln]]</b> followers would get three eye-witness accounts, write a succinct narrative, and give you an accurate measurement of the trajectory of the bus' descent.
::<b>[[Jalassa]]</b> followers would think about it for a while, kill the orphan for the betterment of society, then go meditate about it afterwards.
:<b>Ch'taren</b>
::<b>[[Calaera]]</b> followers would organize a militant task force to neutralize the threat, claiming the bus was a shuddeni plot.
::<b>[[Rystaia|Rystaia Lightbringer]]</b> followers would insist on saving both the nuns and the orphan, maybe save one or the other, and be secure in knowing they didn't compromise.
::<b>[[Vaialos]]</b> followers would lament the loss of the nuns and the orphan and keep their memory alive for the next six months.
:<b>Ethron</b>
::<b>[[Elar]]</b> followers would ensure that the trees at the bottom of the cliff were safe from the flaming wreckage.
::<b>[[Lielqan]]</b> followers would rush the orphan to safety, and accept that the nuns had lived a fulfilling life already.
::<b>[[Nariel]]</b> followers would chase the bus, shoot the orphan from its shadow, and anxiously anticipate the nuns' survival.
:<b>Human</b>
::<b>[[Jolinn]]</b> followers would get something to break the bus' fall, then heal the nuns and resurrect the orphan.
::<b>[[Dolgrael]]</b> followers would realize the bus itself was the greatest foe, push the orphan aside, and slay the bus in honorable combat.
::<b>[[Lilune]]</b> followers would kill all the nuns to ensure their blood waters the site of the new, orphan-based city.
:<b>Kankoran</b>
::<b>[[Arikanja|Arikanja Blackfang]]</b> followers would just not care about the whole thing, instead focusing on their own survival.
::<b>[[Girikha]]</b> followers would hide behind a tree and ambush the orphan, then write a song about a legendary kankoran vanquisher.
::<b>[[Khanval]]</b> followers would overrun the bus, kill everyone on it, and then laugh about how civilization had it coming.
:<b>Nefortu</b>
::<b>[[Ayaunj]]</b> followers would charge the nuns for the rescue, and then not pay the insurance out on the orphan's death.
::<b>[[Bayyal]]</b> followers would intensely hate both the bus and the orphan, then light them all on fire.
::<b>[[Tzajai]]</b> followers would develop a nonsensical and convoluted plan, and then flip a coin to determine what really happened.
:<b>Shuddeni</b>
::<b>[[Arkhural]]</b> followers would rob the nuns' corpses, murder the orphan who might oppose them, and proclaim themselves king of the cliff.
::<b>[[Ashur]]</b> followers would watch them all die, and hope that their deaths would usher in the end of the days.
::<b>[[Rveyelhi]]</b> followers would falsify evidence, mark all of the nuns, and declare the cliff New Yithoul when the bus crashed.
:<b>Srryn</b>
::<b>[[Fenthira]]</b> followers would tell the orphan and the nuns to fight to the death, and then ignore the survivor.
::<b>[[Sitheus]]</b>  followers would let the bus crash, animate the corpses of the nuns, and let them feast upon the flesh of the orphan who damned them.
::<b>[[Sythrak]]</b> followers would realize the orphan and nuns were warmbloods, kill them all, and cook them over a bonfire built on the bus' wreckage.
:<b>None</b>
::<b>[[Iandir]]</b> followers would listen patiently to the dilemma, then do nothing because the cliff is not considered a lawful area.

==Mythical, Historical, or Destroyed Deities==

:<b>[[War of One Thousand Gods|Aolo]]</b>
:<b>[[Joktan]]</b> would get bored and do something else, missing the entire scene.
:<b>[[Kyana]]</b> would have a good cry about the tragedy of such a manufactured scenario.
:<b>[[Marlax]]</b> would fall asleep in the Falcon's Nest, letting both the nuns and the orphan starve to death.
:<b>[[War of One Thousand Gods|Shias]]</b>

[[Category:Gods]][[Category:Humour]]