Difference between revisions of "The Orphan and Bus Problem"

Revision as of 22:31, 30 April 2011

A busload of nuns is hurtling towards a cliff. You can save them, but the absolute only way is by killing a single, terribly cute young orphan. How would the followers of various gods approach this issue?

Aelin

Aeolis followers would try to win the hearts of all of the nuns on the bus with their heroism before it crashed.

Alil followers would jump on top of the bus, ride it over the cliff, and then dance and make out with the half-dead nuns.

Serachel followers would let the bus go over, then distract the orphan and push him off the cliff while yelling, "Little orphan noooooooo!"

Alatharya

Enirra followers would ask the scale of Orlin what alignment the nuns and orphan were, and then gang up on the weaker one.

Caladaran

Alajial followers would try to convince the bus not to hurt those poor nuns.

Chadraln followers would get three eye-witness accounts, write a succinct narrative, and give you an accurate measurement of the trajectory of the bus' descent.

Jalassa followers would think about it for a while, kill the orphan for the betterment of society, then go meditate about it afterwards.

Ch'taren

Calaera followers would organize a militant task force to neutralize the threat, claiming the bus was a shuddeni plot.

Rystaia Lightbringer followers would insist on saving the bus and the nuns, maybe save one or the other, but be secure in knowing they didn't compromise.

Vaialos followers would lament the loss of the nuns and the orphan, but keep their memory alive for the next six months.

Ethron

Elar followers would ensure that the trees at the bottom of the cliff were safe from the flaming wreckage.

Lielqan followers would know it was the nuns' time to go.

Nariel followers would stick the bus full of arrows.

Human

Jolinn followers would get something to break the bus' fall, then heal the nuns and resurrect the orphan.

Dolgrael followers would realize the bus itself was the greatest foe, push the orphan aside, and slay the bus in honorable combat.

Lilune followers would jump on top of the bus and go down with it.

Kankoran

Arikanja Blackfang followers would just not care about the whole thing, instead focusing on their own survival.

Girikha followers would hide behind a tree and ambush the orphan, then write a song about a legendary kankoran vanquisher.

Khanval followers would overrun the bus, kill everyone on it, and then laugh about how civilization had it coming.

Nefortu

Ayaunj followers would charge the nuns for the rescue, and then not pay the insurance out on the orphan's death.

Bayyal followers would intensely hate both the bus and the orphan, then light them all on fire.

Tzajai followers would develop a nonsensical and convoluted plan, and then flip a coin to determine what really happened.

Shuddeni

Arkhural followers would wait until the bus crashed, rob the bodies, and proclaim themselves king of the cliff.

Ashur followers would watch them both die, and hope that their deaths would bring about the end times.

Rveyelhi followers would falsify evidence, mark all of the nuns, and declare the cliff New Yithoul when the bus crashed.

Srryn

Fenthira followers would want the orphan and nuns to fight for her favour.

Sitheus followers would try to get the nuns to declare allegiance to him and tell them their animated corpses would join him in exile.

Sythrak would ask if the orphan or the nuns were warmbloods, then set the bus on fire.

None

Iandir would make sure no one intervened with the bus or the orphan's proper course, resulting in a very orderly tragedy.

Mythical, Historical, or Destroyed Deities

Aolo

Joktan would get bored and do something else, missing the entire scene.

Kyana would have a good cry about the tragedy of such a manufactured scenario.

Marlax

Shias