Difference between revisions of "The Orphan and Bus Problem"

Latest revision as of 05:36, 1 April 2012

A busload of nuns is hurtling towards a cliff. You can save them, but the absolute only way is by killing a single, terribly cute young orphan. How would the followers of various gods approach this issue?

Aelin

Aeolis followers would try to win the hearts of all of the nuns on the bus with their heroism before it crashed, and write poetry about their beauty afterward.

Alil followers would get on the bus and try to get laid by all of the nuns as the bus careens off the cliff unhindered.

Serachel followers would let the bus go over the edge, distract the orphan and push them over as well, and then paint a masterpiece depicting the victims' horror.

Alatharya

Enirra followers would ask the scale of Orlin what alignment the nuns and orphan were, and then gang up on the weaker one.

Caladaran

Alajial followers would preach to the bus about living in peace, then use the deaths of the nuns as an object lesson in why violence is never the answer.

Chadraln followers would get three eye-witness accounts, write a succinct narrative, and give you an accurate measurement of the trajectory of the bus' descent.

Jalassa followers would think about it for a while, kill the orphan for the betterment of society, then go meditate about it afterwards.

Ch'taren

Calaera followers would organize a militant task force to neutralize the threat, claiming the bus was a shuddeni plot.

Rystaia Lightbringer followers would insist on saving both the nuns and the orphan, maybe save one or the other, and be secure in knowing they didn't compromise.

Vaialos followers would lament the loss of the nuns and the orphan and keep their memory alive for the next six months.

Ethron

Elar followers would ensure that the trees at the bottom of the cliff were safe from the flaming wreckage.

Lielqan followers would rush the orphan to safety, and accept that the nuns had lived a fulfilling life already.

Nariel followers would chase the bus, shoot the orphan from its shadow, and anxiously anticipate the nuns' survival.

Human

Jolinn followers would get something to break the bus' fall, then heal the nuns and resurrect the orphan.

Dolgrael followers would realize the bus itself was the greatest foe, push the orphan aside, and slay the bus in honorable combat.

Lilune followers would kill all the nuns to ensure their blood waters the site of the new, orphan-based city.

Kankoran

Arikanja Blackfang followers would just not care about the whole thing, instead focusing on their own survival.

Girikha followers would hide behind a tree and ambush the orphan, then write a song about a legendary kankoran vanquisher.

Khanval followers would overrun the bus, kill everyone on it, and then laugh about how civilization had it coming.

Nefortu

Ayaunj followers would charge the nuns for the rescue, and then not pay the insurance out on the orphan's death.

Bayyal followers would intensely hate both the bus and the orphan, then light them all on fire.

Tzajai followers would develop a nonsensical and convoluted plan, and then flip a coin to determine what really happened.

Shuddeni

Arkhural followers would rob the nuns' corpses, murder the orphan who might oppose them, and proclaim themselves king of the cliff.

Ashur followers would watch them all die, and hope that their deaths would usher in the end of the days.

Rveyelhi followers would falsify evidence, mark all of the nuns, and declare the cliff New Yithoul when the bus crashed.

Srryn

Fenthira followers would tell the orphan and the nuns to fight to the death, and then ignore the survivor.

Sitheus followers would let the bus crash, animate the corpses of the nuns, and let them feast upon the flesh of the orphan who damned them.

Sythrak followers would realize the orphan and nuns were warmbloods, kill them all, and cook them over a bonfire built on the bus' wreckage.

None

Iandir followers would listen patiently to the dilemma, then do nothing because the cliff is not considered a lawful area.

Mythical, Historical, or Destroyed Deities

Aolo

Joktan would get bored and do something else, missing the entire scene.

Kyana would have a good cry about the tragedy of such a manufactured scenario.

Marlax would fall asleep in the Falcon's Nest, letting both the nuns and the orphan starve to death.

Shias